Dougie, Its not always going to be easy but you've proved you've got the fight in you! I know you'll keep going and we're all here with you fighting your corner. You done so well so far don't quit now ya hear. Rest up and try and get things straight in your head. Thinking of you xx
Bradders slounds like you had a bit of a set back too. Hope you manage a lovely week away at least and can get things back to an even keel eventually.

Justine - Witham, Essex, 27masl

Thanks Dotty for the encouragement, and hang in there Bradders, you can do it.

Not too much to say at this stage, but hope to update a little later.

Good morning all.

I am glad to say that I am just beginning to feel human again, but it was very hard on my resource reserves, mentally and physically. Everything just seems to shut down for around 48 hours which I did not really expect. Hopefully I will be able to handle the next few cycles in a better way, but there are no guarantees. The only way I can look at it is that the chemo is doing something, and hopefully in a good way.

Will try for a fuller update later today, so bye bye for now.

And good morning to you too Dougie at 23:45.

Are you in Vegas?.

Hope you are keeping well.

Morning Tony, now that had me confused for a while.

All the best mate.

.

Hope you have a good day.

Pleased to hear your feeling a bit better after that rough 48hrs Dougie!

How long till the next chemo cycle? Hopefully you have a few weeks to get yourself feeling a bit better? 

Thanks for posting Gav.

Mentally I started to recover yesterday evening, but physically I am still very very poorly. The body will just not react to the needs of the mind. I can't explain on an understandable level exactly the problem, suffice to say, that although I have been very open for the purposes of this forum, some things remain private out of necessity.

I had the chemo on Thursday, which was the third out of three, there is a gap for one week so the next treatment will be on Thursday 7th September, so not very long really. Again, this will be a three week cycle, followed by another weeks gap. There will be a reassessment during this period, scans, ex-rays, possible Radiotherapy, and much more. I am not sure of what follows, but it depends very much on if the treatment is doing its job.

From my posts, you may be able to tell that my brain functions at a reasonably coherent level, the major problem is in getting unison with the body, which when subjected to the chemo, becomes impossible.

I am thankfull that a nurse from Macmillan visited today, which helped a bit, but it may be that in the future it was suggested that I should be admitted to hospital for a few days following the treatment, a possibility I would welcome.

I thank you again Gavin, at least you inspired me to write a few words.

Hospital for a few days after chemo would be the place they can look after you. You have no worries about the care they can give you. Just look forward to coming home and a visit o the cafe. Then you can make another post... 

Thanks Dotty and Art for the posts.

I am happy to report that normality has slowly returned, and that I am ready to face the world full on once again. It has been a torrid few days, but we survived with the hope that the first of the 100% treatments has done some real good.

The hot weather I do not like, and here in the SE, it reached the high 20's over the last few days, but with slightly cooler conditions for today, and rain and much cooler conditions forecast for tomorrow, this should help me out a fair bit.

I am looking forward to the few days rest from hospital visits, and will try to build up some reserves for the onslaught coming next week.

Have a good day y'all

To See you happy...Nice To See. Enjoy your rest from it all .Take time out ... 

Good stuff, Dougie.

You just keep on jumping those fences.

Delighted to see you are feeling good. It's been a bit rough lately.

He must be resting, Miss Dot
Not a peep.
We'll let him sleep.

Thanks for the posts guy's.

I have not said much recently because it's very much a case of one step forward, two steps back, and the last couple of days have been the latter.

This is very hard, but we are still hanging in there.

Morning Dougie!  I've just had a quick read of the last couple of pages to catch up on events. I expected the full chemo dose to knock you for six with the side effects, although it's a shock when it happens but I think it shows it's working.  It's good to hear you've rallied a little and are keeping the faith. 

I know you're strong enough to do this and you know you are too. It's OK to have a few weaker moments as long as you keep surfacing again with new resolve. The rest from the chemo will help recharge your batteries and give you strength for the next round but don't ever lose sight of your end goal. When you ask yourself if it's really worth it, the answer should always be 'yes'.  Even when the odds are against you, the odds can be beaten. So hold that thought!  

Right!  I suppose I should start unpacking my case and washing my tropical gear ready for next time.  I'm missing my sisters already but it's nice to back home with hubby.

Have a decent day Dougie. Make the most of your better times by doing things that make you happy.  

Hi Caz, and welcome home. It's always good to take a late summer break, and I hope you had a really good time. As you can see. I have taken a little holiday myself from posting, to give forum members a rest, which they deserve, so it's good to have your input back again as you understand the complexities, so it helps me tremendously.

That's it for now, I wanted to welcome you back without bombarding you with the gory detail so soon after your holiday, but I will try to bring you up to scratch later on.

An interesting article appears here, http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-41094990  Unless I am very lucky, it will not help me, but I am sure this is the future.

Glad you're back.

I had a lovely time thank you Dougie.  It's always a pleasure to spend happy times with my sisters.

Don't worry about bombarding me, or about giving anyone a rest. We want you to post and share what's going on in your life. You have to understand that we know we can't do the fighting for you but we can cheer you on.  And if that helps you, it makes us feel less helpless. So post whenever you feel like it.

Have a restful night!  X. 

Thanks Caz, I knew you would say what was needed to help me out, so I am really happy now that you had a good holiday. I am not much of a blogger?, which I feel this had become, (smile) can't even get that right, even with skinnier fingers.

It has been a difficult session with periods of real downside, this  chemo certainly packs a punch, and because of this I know that something is happening inside, not a new experience for me, but different. The description of feeling like being hit by a truck could be a good analogy, although I don't have experience of that, thankfully.

My physical and mental state has been mixed, and may have been affected by the very warm, even hot conditions, 27 - 29°c here in the SE. Perhaps this is a surprise to many that read this, but back when the original chemo started in January, on the only snowy day we had, the medical team did give me a warning then of the effect temperature has, more cold than hot, but still an important factor. 

From the depths of a few days ago, I can only describe yesterday as being one of the few really happy days I have experienced in the best part of a year. I have made some changes though, and although I still visit the cafe, I have started to cook for myself again. I need something fresh, that fast food cannot cater for, but also for the stimulus, and the mental need to make choices as to what to eat.

The extra choice will also help me to gain(hopefully) body weight. I reported some weight gain a few days ago, at the time of 4.5k, and I am determined that I will be able to manage a total of 10k by Monday.

Macmillan have been good, and I have had a visit from them since you went away, which is part reason why I adopted this new outlook. They pointed out that things had become stale, and needed upgrading, and I have taken this on board, in a big way. They have also told me things to help with finance which is ongoing.

Although a little better, I still am having problems with walking, but hopefully this will improve with time. Their Doctor has been instrumental in the major changes to my medical needs, and keeps contact by letter, and the odd phone call. I feel now that if anyone can get me though this, it will be him. Why, oh why, was he not around for me weeks ago? A failure from the Guy's consultants perhaps. Maybe I am being rather critical here, because the team have done what they think best, in the timing of the treatment, chemo, stent etc., but this doc probably has more experience in the field than most of the rest put together. As a group, we all have played a part, but like with the food, his import has done more in a few weeks, which make my efforts look puny. False hope?, I don't think so.

Have a good day Caz, and the gang. I have been having a few computer issues, particularly with TWO for some reason, but at least it's still working.

Hi Dougie,

Have been really busy last few days and haven't checked in. Great to hear your still hanging in there and getting a little better.

When's the next round of Chemo due again?

Hi Gav,

As it stands,  Thursday will be the next cycle, there will be three over three weeks, followed by a week off, then the cycle repeats.

Hope you get to the cafe this weekend if the strength is there Dougie it would be good for you.... 

Evening Dougie. I'm hoping you've had a good day and are keeping faith with the chemo. It's good that it's packing a punch and proves it's working. Try not to let the side effects get you down though.  I can imagine it must be really tough but just try to concentrate on the end result and the reason your mind and body is being put through the mangle. This is when you need to fight the hardest!  We're all with you!  You have an army of forum members behind you!

It's good that at last, Macmillan are giving you a taste of what they do best. They really are the experts and understand what you're going through, so don't hold back. Talk to them about everything. Even things you might think seem trivial because they understand that minor niggles need to be dealt with to make life easier for you.

Keep up with the cooking and eating good food but visit your cafe when you feel strong enough.  You need to be part of a community and the company will do you good, or just sit with a hot chocolate watching the world go about its business.

By the way, I think you're an expert blogger now!  

Catch you tomorrow.  Night night  x 

I'll cross my fingers that everything goes OK with the next cycle on Thursday - In the meantime hopefully the improvements will continue.