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idj20
30 July 2017 10:04:51

I can only echo Matty and Jake's sentiments. The one thing you - or any one else - going through this kind of thing - mustn't feel is loneliness. If you think "blogging" on this part of TWO is helping you to cope in part, then you have my every blessing to spill your guts (as so to speak). 

Fight the good fight and tell that cancer to fuc . . . I'm not allowed to swear in here, am I?

 


Folkestone Harbour. 
Caz
  • Caz
  • Advanced Member Topic Starter
30 July 2017 10:41:18

 Ian, I don't swear but I find it very easy to tell cancer to fuc.... off!  


Dougie, have a coffee for me at the cafe while you're watching the world go by.  It sounds a lovely place to be, somewhere you feel relaxed and at home.  Next summer, I'm hoping hubby and I will make a few days in Kent and I promise I'll sit there with you and drink one myself. 


 


Market Warsop, North Nottinghamshire.
Join the fun and banter of the monthly CET competition.
Joe Bloggs
30 July 2017 11:06:48

Self-indulgent???? Dougie FFS!! You're going through an awful illness. Quit with the excuses for your negative posts or I'll drive over there and twat you around the head, and you know I will.

This is your thread to vent. Don't worry about the graphic details or the sad content. Spill your guts in here. We are not all sat here just waiting for you to say all is ok so we can slap each other on the back and return to the status quo of the current conditions thread. This isn't going to be fixed in a few days, few weeks or even, maybe, a few months, but I do know you have the balls.

I would say chin up, but it wouldn't mean anything, and how can you right now? Keep telling us how rough things are and we'll all be here to try and pick you up. You'll have plenty of real people around you too. Keep talking to us, fella

Originally Posted by: Matty H 


Well said Matty.


Dougie - please vent away. We're all here for you. :-) 



Manchester City Centre, 31m ASL

Jake
  • Jake
  • Advanced Member
30 July 2017 11:10:57


 


Thanks Jake, stress plays a bit part in cancer, but I try hard not to let it get to me, not always successfully I might add. Days like yesterday bring it all to the fore, when it seems the whole world is against you.


I live alone in a retirement home, which does have some emergency contact equipment dotted around the rooms, and the building. There is a house manager also who will respond but is not medically trained. She is far happier organising fish and chip dinners, or booking Elvis impersonators to entertain the other residents, than to get involved with anything regarding welfare..


Family, I have a sister who is disabled and lives miles away, so don't see much of her, partly my fault, I can't stand her husband, and that is it really, so as you see, very much left to my own devices, which is fine when you are well, not so in times of need.


The downward trend in my existance, which has clearly been going on, particularly over the last 3 months, will I think continue until after the next few cycles of chemotherapy, and then, and only then could there be an up-tick, provided the new chemo works, perhaps a 50/50 chance.


Still, I have survived 7 months of treatment to a greater or lessor extent so far, who is to say I won't be still here, this time next year, don't place your bets. 


Originally Posted by: Dougie 


Pleasure I just don't like seeing people in ill health etc........ Is McMillan supporting you at all! I feel that company would help you a bit. someone to talk to etc. Pass time with (when you feel up to of course) Doesnt sound like you're being supported by the care staff there. How about other residents anyone you could even just sit with.


Its rough going through this stuff alone. You have TWO of course however real people being there as well is a big help! 


youtube page:My You tube page 
Dougie
30 July 2017 21:43:26

I feel really awful right now, there will be no more from me today.


Ha'way the lads
Chichesterweatherfan2
30 July 2017 23:01:47
So, so sorry to hear this...Dougie...just rest up if you can...as others have said, maybe Macmillan could help?
idj20
31 July 2017 06:59:33


I feel really awful right now, there will be no more from me today.


Originally Posted by: Dougie 



Hope you went onto having an uneventful night.


Folkestone Harbour. 
Gandalf The White
31 July 2017 08:34:14


I feel really awful right now, there will be no more from me today.


Originally Posted by: Dougie 


Oh dear, really sad to read your latest updates. As others have said it would be a help if you had some support when you're feeling really low. I can't imagine having to deal with all this by yourself.  I know how hideous the side-effects of chemo can be.


You don't realise what an amazingly complicated thing the body is until it goes wrong and gets out of balance.  I hope things stabilise.


Fingers crossed for a better day.


Location: South Cambridgeshire
130 metres ASL
52.0N 0.1E


Dougie
31 July 2017 10:33:11

Thanks for the posts and wishes over the last 24 hours or so, I will try to address them later. I am feeling marginally better now, and have just arranged a lift up to Guy's and back this afternoon, as don't feel capable of getting there on my own.


Will try to update tonight.


Thanks to you all again.


Ha'way the lads
Miss Dot Com
31 July 2017 10:33:31
Chin up again Dougie you can do it. I don't know how you are right now but I hope you have a little strength left to fight! I just read about your situation and how you live now, do you still have a lamp post to watch? I remember sitting there on TWO all those years ago one eye on here and the other eye on the lamp post, fingers poised as we all wanted to be the ones with the first flakes of snow! A little off topic I know but we all got some fond memories of you and this place and it hurts to see you so down. Besides I didn't see any traffic light system lol xx
UserPostedImage
Justine - Witham, Essex, 27masl
Miss Dot Com
31 July 2017 10:35:14
Opposite cross posted. Hope all goes ok xx
UserPostedImage
Justine - Witham, Essex, 27masl
Dougie
31 July 2017 10:39:27

Thanks Dotty, you are so kind. I remember those days from the past, when everything in the world was right, for me at least. How things change eh?. Still, not going to be beaten by this, and hoping for better days to return.


Ha'way the lads
SJV
31 July 2017 10:53:12


Thanks Dotty, you are so kind. I remember those days from the past, when everything in the world was right, for me at least. How things change eh?. Still, not going to be beaten by this, and hoping for better days to return.


Originally Posted by: Dougie 


Great to read that last line Dougie. Keep that fight going 


Hope you're feeling better today after your issues yesterday 

Caz
  • Caz
  • Advanced Member Topic Starter
31 July 2017 15:39:13

Thinking of you Dougie. Hope it's all going OK. X


Market Warsop, North Nottinghamshire.
Join the fun and banter of the monthly CET competition.
Dougie
31 July 2017 20:32:14

I got home about an hour ago, after a relatively peaceful journey to and from Guy's. I left loads of blood behind (quite usual, for testing purposes), was interviewed by the dietician, and had a good half hour with the consultant, hopefully fruitful. The upshot was that they would yet again try a different anti-sickness medication, this is now the fifth one in all. so hoping for some improvement. I do feel that being able to eat, would reverse the downward trend, and give me something to fight back with. After all, this was the idea of fitting the stent, to enable me to eat better.


 The chemotherapy session for Wednesday has again been cancelled, and will have to attend the hospital for a scan, to see how the tumours have reacted to so long a time without treatment. They are a bit worried because this is pushing the boundaries of safety to leave tumours untreated for so long, so I hope all will be ok.


The catheter will be removed in the next day or two, and I will have a meeting with the palliative care team arranged, to look into the sickness problem, with possible further suggestions as to how to address the situation. So, as you can see, there has been some progress today, it just a case of does it work.


I just had a tin of lentil soup for dinner, and so far I don't feel too bad, so hopefully it will stay down.


Quite a few of you have kindly posted over the last 24 hours, so thankyou for the words and thoughts, they mean so much to me. Really, you have no idea what a comfort they are, with the knowledge that there are folk out there rooting for me. 


I apologise for a not too well constructed post, as my brain is still a bit frazzled, but it has given the facts of today's meetings.


Ha'way the lads
Caz
  • Caz
  • Advanced Member Topic Starter
31 July 2017 20:53:36

I've got everything crossed for you Dougie!  Thanks for posting your update. I'm happy now knowing you're safely home and sounding positive!  Night night.   X


Market Warsop, North Nottinghamshire.
Join the fun and banter of the monthly CET competition.
David M Porter
31 July 2017 20:57:04

Thinking of you just now Dougie!


Lenzie, Glasgow

"Let us not take ourselves too seriously. None of us has a monopoly on wisdom, and we must always be ready to listen and respect other points of view."- Queen Elizabeth II 1926-2022
ARTzeman
31 July 2017 21:08:18

Let's hope a corner is turned soon even I if it is a small one . Have a good rest tonight.   


 






Some people walk in the rain.
Others just get wet.
I Just Blow my horn or trumpet
Whether Idle
31 July 2017 21:14:57
Keep at it Dougie. You are the man!
Dover, 5m asl. Half a mile from the south coast.
Miss Dot Com
31 July 2017 21:34:06
Ahh glad you got home and keeping spirits up. Hope the fight keeps up and the soup stays down tonight. Tomorrow is another day and I'm sure with another set of new challenges but just take one day at a time and the rest will follow. Sleep well xx
UserPostedImage
Justine - Witham, Essex, 27masl
Dougie
31 July 2017 23:37:18

Thanks guy's, you never cease to amaze me


Ha'way the lads
Saint Snow
01 August 2017 08:56:37

Hi Dougie. I'm just catching up with this thread now and I'm so sorry to hear of your set-backs. I really hope you get a break soon and start getting some consistent improvements.


Saying all that - and I suspect I'm not just speaking for myself here - my sympathy will soon evaporate if you keep giving me disturbing imagery like:


but first, I have to discover the problems of taking a shower, with all this plumbing attached to my manhood. It's all looking a bit forlorn

Originally Posted by: Dougie 


 




Martin
Home: St Helens (26m asl) Work: Manchester (75m asl)
A TWO addict since 14/12/01
"How can wealth persuade poverty to use its political freedom to keep wealth in power? Here lies the whole art of Conservative politics."
Aneurin Bevan
Dougie
01 August 2017 09:59:27


Hi Dougie. I'm just catching up with this thread now and I'm so sorry to hear of your set-backs. I really hope you get a break soon and start getting some consistent improvements.


Saying all that - and I suspect I'm not just speaking for myself here - my sympathy will soon evaporate if you keep giving me disturbing imagery like:


 


 



Originally Posted by: Saint Snow 


, typical you Saint, but it did have the desired effect. I laughed for the first time in days, thankyou.


Ha'way the lads
Gavin P
01 August 2017 10:32:17

Pleased to hear you had some encouraging appointments at Guy's yesterday Dougie.


Did you tell them what happened over the weekend when you couldn't get an ambulance despite their recommendation that you needed one?


Fingers crossed the new anti-sickness meds will do the trick.


Chin up again Dougie you can do it. I don't know how you are right now but I hope you have a little strength left to fight! I just read about your situation and how you live now, do you still have a lamp post to watch? I remember sitting there on TWO all those years ago one eye on here and the other eye on the lamp post, fingers poised as we all wanted to be the ones with the first flakes of snow! A little off topic I know but we all got some fond memories of you and this place and it hurts to see you so down. Besides I didn't see any traffic light system lol xx

Originally Posted by: Miss Dot Com 


Oh, they were good times weren't they Dotty? Fun times - Especially the tantrums the next morning when most people got rain rather than snow... Most people that is except C*dge... 


Rural West Northants 120m asl
Short, medium and long range weather forecast videos @ https://www.youtube.com/user/GavsWeatherVids
Dougie
01 August 2017 12:33:21

Thanks Gavin for your comments, and yes, the forum seemed to be very much more light hearted those days, rather than the mainly serious attitude, and back biting that goes on today. Shame really, because the factual side, and information was every bit as accurate as it is today, some times more so.


My comments reference the ambulance fell on deaf ears, maybe I am expecting too much from an organisation already heavily investing in my well-being, or maybe it's a common complaint, where the best policy for them is not to comment. It caused a new low experience for me, and took me back to the bottom rung of the ladder, after some tentative steps up, and could represent the difference between survival and frankly, just giving up, if you take it to its extreme. Whilst physically, the non action result from them, perhaps is not too damaging, but mentally, it potentially put me back months.


Lots of action on the phone this morning, with 3 appointments made for the next 10 days, with more to come, and I am still waiting for news as to when this damn catheter will be removed, just to keep Saint happy.


 


Ha'way the lads

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