I can only echo Matty and Jake's sentiments. The one thing you - or any one else - going through this kind of thing - mustn't feel is loneliness. If you think "blogging" on this part of TWO is helping you to cope in part, then you have my every blessing to spill your guts (as so to speak). 

Fight the good fight and tell that cancer to fuc . . . I'm not allowed to swear in here, am I?

 

 Ian, I don't swear but I find it very easy to tell cancer to fuc.... off!  

Dougie, have a coffee for me at the cafe while you're watching the world go by.  It sounds a lovely place to be, somewhere you feel relaxed and at home.  Next summer, I'm hoping hubby and I will make a few days in Kent and I promise I'll sit there with you and drink one myself. 

Well said Matty.

Dougie - please vent away. We're all here for you. :-) 

Pleasure I just don't like seeing people in ill health etc........ Is McMillan supporting you at all! I feel that company would help you a bit. someone to talk to etc. Pass time with (when you feel up to of course) Doesnt sound like you're being supported by the care staff there. How about other residents anyone you could even just sit with.

Its rough going through this stuff alone. You have TWO of course however real people being there as well is a big help! 

I feel really awful right now, there will be no more from me today.

Oh dear, really sad to read your latest updates. As others have said it would be a help if you had some support when you're feeling really low. I can't imagine having to deal with all this by yourself.  I know how hideous the side-effects of chemo can be.

You don't realise what an amazingly complicated thing the body is until it goes wrong and gets out of balance.  I hope things stabilise.

Fingers crossed for a better day.

Thanks for the posts and wishes over the last 24 hours or so, I will try to address them later. I am feeling marginally better now, and have just arranged a lift up to Guy's and back this afternoon, as don't feel capable of getting there on my own.

Will try to update tonight.

Thanks to you all again.

Thanks Dotty, you are so kind. I remember those days from the past, when everything in the world was right, for me at least. How things change eh?. Still, not going to be beaten by this, and hoping for better days to return.

Great to read that last line Dougie. Keep that fight going 

Hope you're feeling better today after your issues yesterday 

Thinking of you Dougie. Hope it's all going OK. X

I got home about an hour ago, after a relatively peaceful journey to and from Guy's. I left loads of blood behind (quite usual, for testing purposes), was interviewed by the dietician, and had a good half hour with the consultant, hopefully fruitful. The upshot was that they would yet again try a different anti-sickness medication, this is now the fifth one in all. so hoping for some improvement. I do feel that being able to eat, would reverse the downward trend, and give me something to fight back with. After all, this was the idea of fitting the stent, to enable me to eat better.

 The chemotherapy session for Wednesday has again been cancelled, and will have to attend the hospital for a scan, to see how the tumours have reacted to so long a time without treatment. They are a bit worried because this is pushing the boundaries of safety to leave tumours untreated for so long, so I hope all will be ok.

The catheter will be removed in the next day or two, and I will have a meeting with the palliative care team arranged, to look into the sickness problem, with possible further suggestions as to how to address the situation. So, as you can see, there has been some progress today, it just a case of does it work.

I just had a tin of lentil soup for dinner, and so far I don't feel too bad, so hopefully it will stay down.

Quite a few of you have kindly posted over the last 24 hours, so thankyou for the words and thoughts, they mean so much to me. Really, you have no idea what a comfort they are, with the knowledge that there are folk out there rooting for me. 

I apologise for a not too well constructed post, as my brain is still a bit frazzled, but it has given the facts of today's meetings.

I've got everything crossed for you Dougie!  Thanks for posting your update. I'm happy now knowing you're safely home and sounding positive!  Night night.   X

Thinking of you just now Dougie!

Let's hope a corner is turned soon even I if it is a small one . Have a good rest tonight.   

Thanks guy's, you never cease to amaze me

Hi Dougie. I'm just catching up with this thread now and I'm so sorry to hear of your set-backs. I really hope you get a break soon and start getting some consistent improvements.

Saying all that - and I suspect I'm not just speaking for myself here - my sympathy will soon evaporate if you keep giving me disturbing imagery like:

, typical you Saint, but it did have the desired effect. I laughed for the first time in days, thankyou.

Pleased to hear you had some encouraging appointments at Guy's yesterday Dougie.

Did you tell them what happened over the weekend when you couldn't get an ambulance despite their recommendation that you needed one?

Fingers crossed the new anti-sickness meds will do the trick.

Oh, they were good times weren't they Dotty? Fun times - Especially the tantrums the next morning when most people got rain rather than snow... Most people that is except C*dge... 

Thanks Gavin for your comments, and yes, the forum seemed to be very much more light hearted those days, rather than the mainly serious attitude, and back biting that goes on today. Shame really, because the factual side, and information was every bit as accurate as it is today, some times more so.

My comments reference the ambulance fell on deaf ears, maybe I am expecting too much from an organisation already heavily investing in my well-being, or maybe it's a common complaint, where the best policy for them is not to comment. It caused a new low experience for me, and took me back to the bottom rung of the ladder, after some tentative steps up, and could represent the difference between survival and frankly, just giving up, if you take it to its extreme. Whilst physically, the non action result from them, perhaps is not too damaging, but mentally, it potentially put me back months.

Lots of action on the phone this morning, with 3 appointments made for the next 10 days, with more to come, and I am still waiting for news as to when this damn catheter will be removed, just to keep Saint happy.