Hope the Ct Scan results will show what may be done to control the spread.   With you on your anxious moments..... 

Evening Dougie. I want you to know just how inspiring you are so I'm going to write something I wouldn't normally be telling here because this thread isn't about me, but it's relevant and I want you to know.

Today was a very gruelling day for me.  My eldest son died suddenly last January and I've had a long hard legal battle for probate to settle his estate, without success.  His mortgage company obviously wanted their money and repossession of his house was their only option. I could do nothing as I had no legal rights without probate.  Their case was in court today and it was my last chance to get power of representation.  

Having hit brick walls at every previous attempt, I was exhausted and I had given up.  I was going to court today to give everything away.  

Then you posted last night and I marvelled at how you always bounce back despite everything you're hit with and what an endless fight you've had.  Your problems are so much greater than mine yet you've never given up.  I thought about all the things I've said to you about staying strong and positive.  So how could I give up? 

I stood up in court today and fought for my son.  The brick walls crumbled and everything was ruled in my favour.  I won and I finally have closure on the most emotional and difficult episode of my life.

You inspired me Dougie and you're an inspiration to others.  My intention for this thread was to help you and I'm sure it has.  What I didn't expect was for you to have such an impact on my life.  I know you've touched the hearts of others too with your honesty and warmth.  You're special! 

Thank you Dougie!  X 

Have been a lurker in this thread rather than a contributor as I could not really add to what has been said in here. But, Dougie, I am sorry to hear about that set back, but hope you are being kept as comfortable as possible.

Caz, it must have been hard dealing with all that legal matter while still grieving, but hopefully today's result will provide some closure.

It's wonderful Caz that you have been able to bash the bullies, so well done. If I played a small part in your victory, then I am happy, because of all the help you have given me over the last few months.

I am having to face up to the reality that I may well be losing this battle, but there is still the CT scan, and subsequent results to come, which may give fresh hope. This is what is keeping me going, and even if the results are bad, the battle will not be over, well not in my mind anyway. After yesterdays consultation with the Mcmillans doctor, I am now back on the steroids. This has had an immediate impact in that my mood has changed, and I am now able to eat again. The major problem with steroid taking is that they tend to raise blood sugar levels, and being a diabetic, this has to be watched carefully, and mine is already high, but I feel the gamble is worth it, as diabetes is the lessor of two evils at this stage.

As you know, today is CT scan day, and it will be a hard day. I have to take on board fluids via a cannula for two hours before and aft of the scan, so it takes around 5 hours in all.

I am sorry that I have been on the quiet side for the last few days, but all those who have posted during this time, and for that matter, everyone who has contributed  since Caz opened the thread, I would like that thank you from the bottom of my heart, you are the real inspiration.

Morning Dougie. Support is a two way thing and we all need it at some time in our lives.  Sadly some people don't recognise they need it, they don't ask for it and they don't get it. Taking the first step of talking about a problem is always the hardest and you've done that.  Don't apologise for not posting though.  We know you have to adjust to new problems every day and coming to terms yourself is more important.

There's always hope where there's life Dougie!  

I hope today goes as well as can be expected for you.  X 

Hi Steve, thanks for the post. I hope your Dad pulls through, and wish him all the best from me.

I was just thinking before that we were overdue an apology from Dougie for him being so quiet the last few days.

Tsk!

Very best of luck with the scan today. Hope it goes OK.

Well, home now thankfully, but I lied about the time it would take, it was 6 hours in all.

Anyway, scan went ok, but no clues as to how it looked, which is usually not a good sign, so the wait now until Monday for the results. I am very tired, but feel ok, and will probably fall asleep 5 mins into tonights footy, which is becoming the norm these days unfortunately.

Not much else to add, so will leave it there, have a good evening folks.

Thanks to everyone, including Saint for todays posts.

.

Home again.

Evening Dougie. These lengthy excursions are becoming quite a habit.   But you're home at last. 

I wonder if you're managing to see any footie.  Hubby's just watching a bit of the Man U match but he'll be off to bed soon as he's up for work at 3.30 am.  I'm not much of a football fan at all unless it's something big like the World Cup.

Steve, you're not the only one who lurks and has someone close fighting cancer.  There are a lot of people who just don't talk about it but are learning to, thanks to Dougie telling his story.

Enjoy the rest of your evening Dougie.  I'm off to bed now to listen to the rain on the bedroom window.    

Night night  x

I managed to stay awake for the football, so that was a bonus. I had a phonecall earlier, calling me in to see my GP following a letter they had received from Guy's, so I will him tomorrow at 3.30.

Had nothing adventurous for dinner tonight, egg, chips and beans, but I enjoyed it, and it made a nice change from my usual menu. We have had a fair bit of rain down here also tonight, around 6mm so far, but it looks like the North had a lot more than we did.

I am calling it a day now, will hopefully post tomorrow, have a good night.

Hi Dougie,

Pleased to hear the CT went OK... Let's hope the results give you some positive news (you could certainly do with it)

Try and get some rest until Monday.

Caz, wonderful post and so pleased that everything has worked out with your son's estate. My mum is going through something similar at the moment with HMRC over my late fathers estate so I know what it's like - Not only do you have to grieve for your loved one but you also have to go through the trauma of dealing with cold and uncaring bureaucracy picking over the "bones" as well... 

So pleased you've had a good outcome. 

Morning Dougie.  Hope you slept well but I wonder if your neighbours suffered the beans effect!  

Dotty, good for you supporting a charity. I'm sure they will be grateful for any amount.  

Gavin, I'm truly sorry to hear your mum is also fighting the ludicrous beurocracy.  The Barrister suggested I start a campaign to change the archaic system. Maybe I will!

Dougie, I hope all goes well with your GP visit.  I found my mum's GP to be most helpful with day to day care.  He worked alongside the Macmillan team and was always available when we needed him.  I hope yours is as good!  

I've just realised how many times I write 'I hope'.  

Have a good day.  Remember to smile!  X 

I would never knock the use of the word "hope", there are times when I feel it's the only thing I have left.

OK, the reason for being called in to the GP, was to discuss the use of anti depressants. My feelings are neutral as regards their use, but would prefer not to. However, under the present set of circumstances, I have agreed to give them a try.

A bit if good news for a change, there are signs that the DVT is beginning to release its grip on my leg. Last night the swelling went down but has subsequently returned. From experience, this is a sign that there is some movement, and will eventually be flushed away.

I have not had a bad day, body functions ok, had shepherds pie for dinner, so all in all, holding my own.  

Who couldn't eat Shepherds Pie?. Dougie.
Good to see you standing up against the chit storm Doug.
You are an inspiration.

Evening Dougie.  Having hope, shows we haven’t given up!  No I wouldn’t knock the word either. Good job seeing as I use it so much!   

I think you’re right to take your GP’s advice and have agreed to at least give the antidepressants a try.  They could make a big difference and give you the lift you need but if you don’t get on with them he can always take you off them.  The DVT being on the move is good too. 

I very nearly made Shepherds pie for dinner tonight too, but I made a mince and mushroom pie instead.  It was a big pie so we’ll be having it again tomorrow with chips and peas.

Enjoy the rest of your evening. You’ll probably still be up long after I’ve started snoring. I’m a lightweight these days, although I wake up too early some mornings.  It’s lovely in the long days of summer but not so good when days are shorter.

Night night.  X 

Thanks Caz.  You should definitely go for it!

Pleased to hear you've had a slightly better day Dougie. I might do myself shepherds pie tomorrow. 

Re. antidepressants. You've not got anything to lose by taking them and they might help you to feel a little better so why not give then a try? 

It seems everybody likes Shepherds Pie.

I have been taking advice from various people about the cat, and the consensus seems to be to go for it. I will have a word with the CPL tomorrow, and if they ok it, I might go and see what they have. It would be nice to have some company.

I went out tonight for the first time, in what must be about a fortnight, it was cold and a bit soggy on Blackheath after last nights rain, but it was good to get out and about again, you can only take so much football.

Nite, nite everyone.

Most of the football I watch on TV these days is on DVD of games from many years ago. Today's game simply doesn't entertain me the way it did before it became big business. The only thing that is better about football today compared to say 30 years ago is that fans are treated like human beings now rather than potential hooligans, plus stadiums and facilties for fans are so much better than in the 1980s and before then.

Great to hear about you possibly getting a cat as a companion Dougie. I think the companionship will go a long way towards making the difficult days that little bit more bearable.

Take care of yourself mate, thinking of you!

Morning Dougie. It’s great that you made a trip to Blackheath even if it was soggy. I’ve never been there but it must be a nice place for you to keep visiting it. 

I think going to the CPL to look at their feline residents is a good idea, so I hope you make the trip today and get a new friend to share your home. Not only will a cat be a companion, it will also give you something different to think about. Let us know how you get on. 

Have a good day.  X