OK, after some raw emotion and forty winks, I now feel able to at least attempt an update of today's proceedings.
Let me start by thanking Caz for sharing the PM I sent to her late last night. I guess in my own little way it was what I wanted Carol to do, the contents of which were very difficult to write, but as I explained in the text, I needed for her to know what was at stake. Thank you Carol.
On to today, well my old friend the catheter was removed around 11am. and the somewhat worrying period began as to whether I would be able to pass water on my own. I was encouraged to drink lots to fill the bladder, but the need to empty the bladder remained absent. On a lighter note, I enquired as the whether my equipment would return to default, or could there be some involuntary leakage, where upon I was provided with a nappy. I was worried about this because the time was fast approaching when I needed to walk from the older part of the hospital, into the new Cancer Wing. Anyway, I offered up the nappy, pulled up my undies, and started the journey to meet the Macmillans doctor. Well, the best laid plans and all that, half way across the main, somewhat crowded auditorium, the nappy developed it's own mind, and decided to part company. I did manage to stop it appearing out of the bottom of my trousers, and then remove it in the toilet, without embarrassment. Probably a little too much information I know, but there is usually a humorous side to most things.
The meeting with the Macmillans doctor was very business like, and perhaps went some way towards trying to address the nausea problem, time will tell. He put me on steroids, and doubled up on the anti sickness pill, which I will take tonight, and see how things go tomorrow. The rest of the palliative care team will come on line over the next few days.
Back to the clinic now, still no requirement to pass water, but I was introduced to a self fitting catheter. A brilliant bit of kit, which will stop any further incidents as in 10 days or so ago. It's a one off fitting, so would relieve any discomfort in case of a problem, and also provide a huge amount of peace of mind.
Eventually, I was able to empty my bladder, which was measured, and a scan of my bladder showed that only around 100ml of fluid remained, apparently this is quite normal. A further emptying, followed by another scan, proved that all was normal, so they let me come home.
Not as bad a day as I was expecting, so am happy about that. The battle starts afresh as of now. I am now aware of the enemy, and between the chemo and myself, the idea has not changed, that of telling the cancer where to go. I recognise that this will not be easy, but I will give one hell of a go. Not only do I want to see next Xmas, but also many more beyond that. The future starts here.
Again, thank you all very much for the wonderful posts, you guy's really know how to support those in trouble.