HT, I understand exactly. When I lost my son, my mum took my hands in hers, looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘Carol, it does get easier to bear’. That was the most comforting thing she could have said and she of all people knew, because three years earlier she lost a son, my younger brother.
She was right too! There isn’t a day I don’t miss him but there isn’t a day I don’t bring back happy memories of him. We were very close, he was my first born and was like me in many ways, so we had a good understanding. He never married and he always said it was because he couldn’t find another woman like me.
He actually died two days before my birthday, which he’d absolutely hate if he knew! If that makes sense! People bought me cards but nobody wished me ‘happy birthday’ because of course it wasn’t that year, but it has been for the past two years and it will be every year in future. I had to wait four weeks to arrange his funeral as there was a post mortem, due to his sudden death.
The morning of his funeral I had a call from the hospital asking if I could take my mum in for a test the following day. My husband and I took her and we were told she had terminal cancer. She died exactly five years to the day my brother died.
But all these dates are only dates on a calendar. We’re without those we’ve lost every day of the year. No more so on anniversaries. Dates really aren’t significant to our loss, or to getting on with life. That’s the way I see it and it helps!
I am going to enjoy Christmas, especially as I know my son and mum would want me to. They wouldn’t want me to be sad! I wouldn’t want anyone to be sad if I died. Would you?
Merry Christmas everyone! Remember, it’s just another day. But it’s a day in your life, so live it!
Originally Posted by: Caz