Lucky to be stranded at home when the weather is like this. Not so good for people without a garden though. 

Surely it's just a matter of putting the hose on the other end. Job done

I recognise that shed - thought you had been and nicked ours until I looked in the garden and saw it was still there

You have a point though - I have friends and colleagues in Copenhagen who are going spare at being trapped inside their apartments.

Salvini's deputy was in tears, "every single day, 7-8 people I know die".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FmKm4LaQk4

If they are like his vacuum cleaners they will explode into a myriad of little broken plastic bits - a regular job at a place I used to work was putting the cleaner together after it had got jammed on something and exploded - On the positive side, the parts were always available.

I have an open mind about this, if he can do it, good for him - if not, as you say it's going to stick with him  like glue forever - He'll be the new Ratner.

That town must have a very young population, then? If the average life expectancy was 80, then you'd expect the entire 12,000 population to be replaced in 80 years on average, which would equate to 150 people dying every year.

I found this link which shows well the stark difference between infections in the towns S and E of Milan (Milan itself is not so badly affected), compared to a province in the south (Isernia) that has only had 4 cases.

https://www.piersoft.it/covid19/

The Times has just published a big story on the Dyson ventilator - here is a picture:

Likewise, luckily I have the Cornish countryside all around us and the Atlantic is a 20min walk away. 

Here is the article:

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/dyson-to-make-10-000-ventilators-for-nhs-3v6rd68vd

"Sir James Dyson will begin production within weeks of a new medical ventilator for coronavirus patients after signing a contract to produce 10,000 for the NHS.

Dyson is redirecting staff and resources to set up two production lines at a former wartime RAF base at Hullavington, Wiltshire, where the company had previously planned to manufacture an electric car.

The new CoVent machines, which can be used both in hospitals and by ambulance paramedics, will draw heavily on existing Dyson technology, including its digital motors and air purifier products.

...

Dyson in partnership with the technology group TTP and a large consortium under the banner VentilatorsChallenge UK are the lead manufacturing options.

Sir James announced his contract in a message to staff around the world yesterday evening. His research and design teams in different locations have been working round the clock with designers in one part of the world handing over to teams in other locations overnight.

Sir James told his workforce: “Since I received a call from Boris Johnson ten days ago we have refocused resources at Dyson and worked with TTP, The Technology Partnership, to design and build an entirely new ventilator.

“This new device can be manufactured quickly, efficiently and at volume. It is designed to address the specific clinical needs of Covid-19 patients and it is suited to a variety of clinical settings. The core challenge was how to design and deliver a new, sophisticated medical product in volume and in an extremely short space of time. The race is now on to get it into production.”

He said that the Dyson digital motor was “at the heart of the new device”. The new ventilator would “achieve a high-quality air supply to ensure its safety and effectiveness, drawing on our air purifier expertise which delivers high-quality filtration” in mass-produced products.

Dyson and the other makers have to work closely with the medical and healthcare regulator to ensure that the new machine is completely safe and suitable for clinical use. NHS experts and regulators have been involved in the project throughout.

Under the terms of the contract the government will cover much of the cost of getting the operation started as quickly as possible but the company stresses that it is not seeking to make a profit.

..."

In other news, the lockdown isn't easy for everyone 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52039832

That's great, but the immediate question from the frontline staff would be: when will these ventilators be operationally ready? Production 'within weeks' could mean that they won't be available before May, while our peak will probably occur sometime in April.

Any thoughts / suggestions as to what provisions Rishi might make for the self employed later today?

Hopefully, low tech solutions like this one can plug the gap in the meantime:

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/uk-england-hereford-worcester-52015736/coronavirus-gtech-designs-prototype-ventilator

COVID is not going away at the end of April and the authorities are already planning for the second wave.

Setting aside the unrealistic goal of herd immunity without a vaccine, it's odd on that there will be another outbreak in the autumn and winter, so even if the first peak is missed - which is only a prediction, in any event - they may still be needed; along with all the other gear.

Realistically I expect the government and NHS to be gearing up for this to last until at least the second half of 2021 and even that assumes an effective vaccine has become widely available during that summer.

There were suggestions that it could be a payment based on declared income via people's tax returns, using some formula or other (e.g. last year, average of last three years)

Of course that assumes that self-employed people have declared their income accurately.... i.e. No 'cash in hand' 🤔

Whatever it is, I'd bet it'll leave people cursing that they've avoided tax by "cash in hand"!

Not just cash in hand, a large number have set up their own company pay themselves minimum wage, the a nice fat dividend at the end of the year and only pay CGT on the dividend. No national insurance either.

Seriously, in fairness how can any assistance be provided other than on a blanket basis? 

Clicking on "Time Map" on the right hand-side of that page gives you a slider to run through the data for the last month. Terrifying

TBH a slightly enhanced version of the dole is what I'd expect they'll come up with. It'd help if there were rent holidays in the meantime.

Maybe it'll be a tax refund?

That's a sore point, it's thanks to people doing that that I now have to pay more tax on the dividends I get from my American shares. Caught up by people trying to dodge the system.

It'd be quite ironic if the pay they receive is based on their official wages and/or tax returns.